Across the Universe
by Invisible Kat
Summary: "It was as though all of the demons of his life had disappeared from his thoughts, leaving behind wisdom beyond his fifteen years. He felt as though he was finally seeing the world through clear eyes instead of a haze." Cam/Maya, set after BSS. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Across the Universe**

A/N: I don't own Degrassi

It had really happened faster than he would've imagined. Somewhere between taking the blade of his hockey skate to his wrist and closing his eyes, succumbing to the perpetual exhaustion of his life, Campbell Saunders thought about the morning. Who would see, what would they say, what would they think? Most importantly, what would _she _think? He'd spent so much of his short time at Degrassi Community School trying to make friends and become someone. He cared too much about what people thought, from his hockey plays to his social skills. That was what a teenager did, after all.

But somewhere, it had all become too much. Every time he took two steps out of the darkness that threatened to consume him each time, he ended up with ten back somehow. Each time he stepped back, that was time he no longer had, like the hours ticked away each time on his short life. And with each hour that ticked away, his sole bright spot: his Maya, became foggier in his mind.

Maya had been the only thing keeping him from coming apart at the seams. Every taunt from his team, every moment of homesickness, and every failed attempt at being normal caused him to unravel a bit more. Like a piece of string, he was slowly becoming more and more frayed. And, at some point, you just can't put a piece of string back together. One comment from his nemesis and the realization that he was going to destroy the one good thing in his life was the final nail in what would soon become his coffin.

It had seemed like forever before night had finally fallen and Cam had returned to the garden. It had made the most sense to him when he'd resolved to die that night. The garden was where he and Maya had shared lunch together when their relationship was brand new.

Sitting down on the ground in the greenhouse, Cam looked at the skate in his hand, the blade shining menacingly in the moonlight. Tears ran down his face as he watched the dark blood seep down his arm from his torn wrist, pooling on the ground beneath him. Like the darkness that crept over him on his bad days, it was invasive, turning an otherwise white surface black. Soon, his shallow breathing began to hitch as he felt a heaviness come over him. Well, no wonder he was tired. He and Maya had been up almost all night the night before playing with pillows and Hoot.

Hoot.

He'd never given Hoot back to Maya.

Cam was not prepared for this. He had certainly been ready to die, to close his eyes and stop his and everyone else's pain forever, but he'd never expected to open them again. Cam had never really thought much about what happened when you died. Sure, his mother would always tell him of the sought after Heaven, and that if he was a good person, he'd go there in a hundred years when he died. If only she knew he was going a little ahead of schedule.

But the Heaven his mother had painted for him was nothing like what he saw now. She'd spoken of a rainbow bridge, of endless fields and sunshine, something out of a Disney sing-along. What surrounded him now was not unlike what he'd last seen before closing his eyes: the stars. Cam looked around, seeing an endless expanse of universe around him, and found himself thinking of the days he and his brother Justin would play astronauts in the backyard. The innocence of two children lost in play could create entire imaginary worlds.

A distant bark caught Cam's attention, and he looked to see a golden retriever lumber toward him.

"Orion!" he exclaimed. The dog jumped on him, wagging his tail happily. With a smile, Cam scratched the dog behind the ears as it licked his face. He'd loved playing with Orion when he was a kid. He remembered how he and his brothers and sisters had cried when Orion had been hit by the car when he'd escaped the backyard, but he'd hurt the most. As the middle child, Cam had been on his own a lot, and Orion had always been there for him.

But his childhood dog, cut down in its prime ,suddenly alive and vibrant in front of him wasn't the only thing that Cam was aware of. Before he'd closed his eyes, his head had been cluttered with pain, desperation, and fear. He was insecure, he was scared, and he was sad, all the time. But as he'd journeyed up to the stars, something felt different to him. It was as though all of the demons of his life had disappeared from his thoughts, leaving behind wisdom beyond his fifteen years. He felt as though he was finally seeing the world through clear eyes instead of a haze. Hockey, rivalries, and longing to fit in didn't seem so important anymore. On the outside, he still looked like his teenage self, he knew, but on the inside, he felt as sage as his grandfather had been before he'd passed five years before.

Cam stared at the stars all around him, looking at the world and the universe since the beginning of time. There were billions of galaxies in the universe, potentially an infinite number of worlds. Cam knew, with his new perspective, as a spirit, he could soar through the cosmos forever, exploring every reach that man could not. He could even return to Earth and see the Seven Wonders if he wanted. Mountains, oceans, everything. Whereas his life was summed up in twelve hours, from Kapuskasing to Toronto, the universe could now be his playground forever. The possibilities were simply endless. And, of course, he knew that there was another level ahead of him, the one that everyone talked about, desired to achieve, and feared banishment from: Heaven. In time, he would find his way there, when all his exploring was done. But, as he thought in his new view, he knew where his first stop would be on the road of discovery.

While all the pain and desperation of an adolescence cut short had vanished with his transcendence, Cam was still very aware of one thing: his love for a girl with music in her every move. More than anything, he wanted to comfort her, to let her know how he felt and that everything would be okay. He couldn't make himself visible to her, of course, but he would find a way to make her take notice and to understand what he now knew. Everything truly would be okay.

"Come on, Orion," he said to the dog. "We've got a long trip ahead of us."


	2. Chapter 2

Snowfall in Canada in April wasn't entirely unusual. Weather could change in an instant from any pressure system or meteorological phenomenon. Or maybe, from something a bit more mystical. If she knew where to look, Cam was sure that Maya would see him there in the snowflakes. But that was a pretty big if. Maybe if he could get her attention somehow…

When Cam had first made his way back to Earth, he wanted to do something meaningful to help Maya understand. He briefly recalled a memory of theirs from the last night before he'd gone back to Kapuskasing. The doctors had tentatively agreed to let him return to the ice, and he'd played a pretty decent game that night. Of course, Maya had been in the stands, cheering him on the entire time. After the game had ended, he'd waited until the rink was empty before changing into his street clothes and going to meet her.

_As Cam walked out of the boys' locker room, his gear thrown into a duffel, he looked to see Maya sitting in the stands. Upon seeing him, her eyes did that amazing luminescent thing that always made his heart skip a beat. _

"_Hey, I was wondering where you were," she said. "So, Tori and Tristan are at Little Miss Steaks already. Wanna go?"_

"_In a minute," Cam said. "You remember when you told me you hated hockey because you never learned to ice skate?"_

"_Yeah," Maya said. With a grin reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat, Cam reached into his bag and pulled out two pairs of skates. "What…Cam?"_

"_Time to learn," he said. "That way we can play one-on-one."_

"_I'll just fall on my ass," Maya said. _

"_No you won't," Cam said. "If you do, I'll just catch you."_

_Maya looked at him for a moment, her eyes narrowed slightly playfully. Cam grinned again and she chuckled. _

"_If I do this, you have to let me teach you how to play the cello," she said._

"_Deal," Cam said, extending a hand. The two shook hands and he held out a pair of skates. _

_For all her hesitation, Maya had been a natural when her skates touched the ice. Cam had glided along close behind her, intent on keeping his promise to not let her fall. It wasn't long before Maya had gained enough confidence to lap him a bit, and before long, they were filling the rink with happy, carefree laughter. _

"_Alright, you can skate," Cam said after a moment. "But can you do this?"_

_Maya stopped, looking back at him as he did a skating move, like something she would see from the pros. When he started skating backward, she clapped for him. Cam raised his hands in mock celebration before losing his balance and falling on his back. _

"_Cam!" Maya said. She skated over to him as he lay on his back on the ice, groaning. "Are you okay?"_

"_Help me up?" Cam asked, extending a hand. Maya took his hand, but before she could pull him up, he pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. She squealed in slight surprise, and Cam planted a kiss right on her lips. When he pulled back, he smiled at her. "Told you I'd catch you."_

Now, Cam drifted along the sky with Orion by his side, tracing light patterns as a snowflake. He'd drifted over the streets of Toronto, passing by his old stomping grounds of Little Miss Steaks and the rink. When he got to Degrassi, he could see students beginning to file in. He only hoped he wasn't too late, that she would still be outside.

Cam floated past the greenhouse, lingering for a moment in the place he'd taken his last breath. It seemed like so long ago, eons even, when it was actually only a few days before. Time didn't really mean much when you were dead. Or, as he preferred to think, elevated. He couldn't really think of it as death anymore. He knew from chemistry that energy could not be created or destroyed, only converted from one form to another. When he'd ascended, he'd realized that his life hadn't ended entirely. He'd just finished one level and was ready for the next. It was a point everyone reached at their own pace. Well…maybe that meant he was gifted. The fact that he still existed out there, in whatever form he needed, was just proof that he would never truly be gone.

Suddenly, Cam was free from his introspection as he realized he wasn't alone in the garden anymore. He somewhat expected to see Katie or Jake there, but, through what he would only categorize as some sort of divine intervention, he found himself looking at the girl he'd traveled across the universe to see once more. And in a whisper that he knew she'd hear in the wind, he spoke one name.

"_Maya."_

Months, weeks, days before, Cam and Maya had been in the garden under different circumstances. Cam could once touch her hand or caress her cheek as he brought her in for a kiss. Now, he still could, but unless she looked closely enough, Maya wouldn't know his caress from a late winter's breeze. So, Cam focused all of his energy and changed form once more. Anyone else would attribute this move to Jake and Katie's green thumbs, but Cam hoped that Maya would get it.


	3. Chapter 3

With a sigh, Maya Matlin looked at the garden. People would say how amazing it was that she could even set foot there after what had happened, but considering that everyone insisted on treating her like a porcelain doll anyway, she didn't even care. When the numbness had faded, she'd felt a blinding surge of pain. The longer she'd remained in shock, the more startling it was when it hit, and she was left with physical and psychological exhaustion that reduced her to mostly silence in her waking state. "Zombie" was the word she'd heard on more than one occasion as of late. Now, she sat amidst the falling snow, surely risking her health, but she didn't care. She didn't have the energy to move just yet.

At that, something caught her attention in the corner of her eye. There, in one of the plant boxes Jake had painstakingly created, she saw something unusual. Most of the garden was covered with a dusting of snow. But there, in the corner of the plant box, she saw a tiny dot of green poking through the white. Maya's brow furrowed as she leaned forward, looking down at the clover that stood proudly and unaffected by the cold. As she looked at it, something seemed to hit her as a cold wind swept through the garden, touching her cheek not with a brutal slap she'd become accustomed to growing up in Canada's winters, but with something much more tender. Maya looked up, her breathing slightly shallow.

"Cam?" she said. Another light touch of the wind gently blew strands of blonde hair against her cheek. "Oh my…"

There was no mistaking it. She'd never before given much thought to the afterlife or the existence of ghosts, but she couldn't deny what she felt. All logic would disappear out the window when it came to what the heart could sense. It was then that Maya realized she was surrounded by reminders of Cam everywhere, and not just the memories that took place in the garden before that last day. The snow, taking her back to the time she'd learned how to skate, where she and Cam could move as one along the ice. The clover, a symbol of the shared belief in lucky charms. And the touch of the wind, as close to the familiar brush of his hand to her cheek whenever they kissed.

Maya knew Cam was gone. She'd been told so many times that it was becoming a broken record in her head. But seeing and feeling so much of him in that very moment shined a new realization on the sad situation. They were wrong, all of them. Cam wasn't really gone. Even if she couldn't see him, she knew he was there. The wind, the clover, even the snowflakes that drifted down onto her skin, hair, eyelashes. Cam was there. He would never truly leave her. And his presence was so different than it had been in life. For days the garden had been shrouded in sadness by those who didn't understand what she did now. She could feel a sense of inner peace that she realized had been absent for so long. Cam was at peace. Cliches aside, he truly was in a better place. Wherever that was, he was happy there. She could feel that he missed her, but he wanted her to be okay. Even in life, Cam was like that. He wanted her to be happy. And she'd wanted nothing more than for him to be happy.

With a smile, Maya got to her feet, looking up at the sky. She closed her eyes, holding out her arms. Slowly, gently as she had when she'd learned to skate, she twirled in the garden, letting the snowflakes swirl around her. Maya didn't care who could see her or what they'd think. She was dancing with Cam once again, basking in his presence. If he was going to watch over her, she'd have to do her best to make him proud. Their last night together, he had expressed his excitement for her being considered for the youth orchestra. She owed it to him to stay on that track, to wake up and live her life as it had been intended. It would take time, but she'd do it. But for now, she had class to get to. After all, she had a long journey ahead of her.

"I'll see you, Cam," she said to the sky. It wasn't goodbye, she told herself. They would see each other again, but until then, she would see him in the clouds, hear him in a badly, but joyously sung karaoke song, or feel his touch in the wind.

With a small smile, she left the magic garden, taking the first steps towards what would be her destiny.

A/N: For those who wanted Maya to break down after Cam's death hit her, I do apologize. I wanted to give them both closure, and I feel like since Maya wanted Cam to be happy, and she can sense that he is truly at peace now, she would be able to come to terms with his death and understand that it will be okay in the end.

The final chapter should be up tomorrow! Thanks for the reads and reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

From his vantage point over the garden, Cam watched with satisfaction as Maya walked into the school. Seeing the smile on her face as she'd realized that he was there had been one of the greatest things he could ever hope to experience. He remembered how he'd first felt when he'd moved on, and could sense the same feeling from Maya as she danced in the snow. He hadn't known until he'd passed just how deep their connection had run. In their short time together, Cam and Maya had experienced something that most people search for all of their lives and still never find: a deep, lasting love that could defy even death. He would miss what he could've had if he hadn't moved on, but there was no sense dwelling in that state forever. Just as Maya had known, Cam knew that it was not goodbye. It would never be goodbye.

Maya would be okay. She would graduate from Degrassi and travel to New York, LA, wherever the music took her. She would play concerts under the stars, gracing the world with a breathtaking sound of music. And someday, Maya would fall in love again, even if the small piece of Cam never left her heart. She'd settle down in a beautiful house, maybe overlooking the ocean. Every morning, she would wake up to the sound of the wind whistling through the window and remember that everything was okay. She would finally have that feeling that everyone she cares for is taken care of, in some way.

And someday, like the souls before her, Maya's time would run out. She would be old and gray, but her blue eyes would never lose their vibrancy, even after all the years. She'd kiss her grandchildren one last time and look back on her life with the realization that she'd made good on the promise to someone from so long ago. And as she crossed, she would become a reflection of her happiest memory, of the moment that she realized she was going to make it after all, even when the unthinkable happened. Of course, Cam would be there to greet her, with open arms.

Cam was energy now, but he knew this wasn't something new. Whenever he thought of Maya now, he felt himself drift back, not to that first moment in French class, but to something beyond the beginning of time. He knew that, at one time, their souls were pure energy, together as one, and now, before either one of them knew it, they'd be together again. For now, he would preserve their love in the heavens. It was up to Maya to keep it alive in her memory on Earth. And he believed, more than anything, that she would, no matter what transpired throughout her life.

Now, surrounded by the stars again, Cam looked around with intrigue. Orion was panting by his side, forever as faithful as he'd been in life.

"Where to first, boy?" Cam asked. The dog barked, looking up at him. Cam thought for a moment. He'd always wanted to see the Grand Canyon, and he knew the sun would be rising over Arizona very soon. He knew the colors of the canyon at first light would be amazing, particularly with his view. Now that his heart was no longer weighed down, he could fly anywhere. And with one more smile, Cam and Orion soared through the stars to catch the sun.

"_Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean."_

_ -David Searls_

RIP Campbell Saunders

THE END


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